review by John W. Herbert
It’s ironic but the future of hand-drawn animation may have just been saved by the ugliest cartoon family in history. Consider that The Simpsons’ Movie opening gross of $74,000,000 is the largest opening of any hand-drawn animated film in history, and is a larger opening than any digitally animated film by Pixar (Toy Story, Monsters, Inc., Finding Nemo, Ratatouille etc.). Only two of the digitally animated Shrek films have grossed more than Homer and his family.
On the other hand, The Simpsons has been a cultural touchstone for a generation and, as the tv-show enters its 19th season this fall, it’s hard to imagine that a big-screen version wouldn’t be a huge hit. As such, the movie plays it safe and doesn’t stray much from the formula that makes it work so well on television. Maybe a few of the joke are a little cruder, but they’re still tame compared to what passes as humour in the theatres these days.
And sticking to the formula ain’t necessarily a bad thing. It was the winning formula of balancing family sentimentality and dead-on self-aware satire that has made The Simpsons quite possibly the best tv-comedy show ever. While the later seasons of the show have often veered away from this formula, The Movie returns to the tried and true Simpsons story style of its glory years of the early and mid-1990s.
The first half of The Movie is classic Simpsons’ craziness, and is pitch perfect as it assails the audience with laugh after laugh. Itchy skewers Scratchy, Homer complains that The Bible has no answers, Lisa fruitlessly tries to encourage Springfield’s citizens to save the a lake, and Bart skateboards through town naked (which leads to the film’s biggest laugh as Bart is briefly glimpsed in all his glory). Eventually a plot develops and the laughs become a little less frequent. Homer falls in love wit a pig which leads to an environmental disaster for Springfield. The town is quarantined but Homer and family escape and move to Alaska. The family want to return to help their former town folks, but Homer has settled in to the Arctic lifestyle and wants to remain. (There a bar in Alaska called Eski-Moe’s.) They leave Homer to return to Springfield, and Homer must not only save his town, but he must also rescue the relationship with his wife and children.
This has always been the key to the success of The Simpsons, a balance between zany physical comedy, smart satire, and not being afraid to be sentimental and allow the family moments to play without undercutting them with a zinger. The oft-expressed belief the The Simpsons is “anti-family” is belied by the fact that no matter how dysfunctional this family is, it’s clear that they love each other and their relationship with each other is the driving force in their lives. Even “under-achiever” Bart has demonstrated again and again his deep ties to his family. (And how can conservatives complain about a tv family that is seen going to church regularly? Heck, the whole damn town goes to church every Sunday! And the first scene of The Movie is set in a church at Sunday Service! But I digress.)
This is by no means a ground-breaking film, but it is a witty reminder of why we’ve loved The Simpsons all these years. It delivers big laughs in abundance.
Plus we get to see Bart’s doodle.
Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movie. Show all posts
Titanic (1996) Special Edition DVD
review by John W. Herbert
Believe it or not, boys and girls, but there was a time when James Cameron’s film Titanic looked to be a disaster in the making. Horribly over budget at north of $200,000,000, and its release delayed six months, Titanic was looking to be a celluloid disaster destined to sink on its maiden weekend.
But the film opened to four-star reviews and boffo box office. The something amazing happened.
All major films’ box office drops off the second weekend. But Titanic was different. Its second weekend was bigger than its first.
That never happens.
And its third and fourth weekend grosses were still larger than the first. Titanic was on its way to being the highest grossing film of all time with a total worldwide gross of over $1.8 billion dollars. No other film even comes close. (Second place is The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King at $1.1 billion, the only other films in the billion dollar club, although the first Harry Potter film is just a few million short of joining the club. But I digress.) It received a record 14 Oscar nominations and won a record 11.
I saw it opening night. And I was in the front row bawling like everyone else.
Titanic is the work of a master film-maker at the top of his game.
The new special edition DVD contains a gorgeous new transfer spread over two discs, plus three commentaries: one from Cameron, one from various cast and crew, and one from a pair of Titanic historians. All three are worth your attention and are informative. In addition, there are 50 or so mini-docs on the two discs available by either a seamless branching option while watching the movie, or by a "play-all" feature. There’s also the original ending (available with a Cameron commentary) that, although fine by itself, is clearly inferior to the ending as it was finally cut. A third disc contains nearly an hour of deleted and extended scenes, all with optional Cameron commentary. There are other featurettes on this disc, including a gag reel of sorts, a look at Cameron’s real dive on Titanic, and a time-lapse feature on building the set. In all, this is a treasure trove of material, which almost makes up for the lack of a definitive "making-of" documentary as was promised when the set was originally announced a s a four-disc set.
Why does the the ill-fated story of Titanic still touch us? At its heart, it is the story of human frailty and hubris. The lessons learned from Titanic were lost by the time of Challenger, and those lessons learned were forgotten again with Columbia. It is a story of class rule by human ego and unquestioned ideology and assumptions, as if even daring to question these assumptions is evil and unpatriotic.
And clearly, these are lessons that need to be learned again.
Believe it or not, boys and girls, but there was a time when James Cameron’s film Titanic looked to be a disaster in the making. Horribly over budget at north of $200,000,000, and its release delayed six months, Titanic was looking to be a celluloid disaster destined to sink on its maiden weekend.
But the film opened to four-star reviews and boffo box office. The something amazing happened.
All major films’ box office drops off the second weekend. But Titanic was different. Its second weekend was bigger than its first.
That never happens.
And its third and fourth weekend grosses were still larger than the first. Titanic was on its way to being the highest grossing film of all time with a total worldwide gross of over $1.8 billion dollars. No other film even comes close. (Second place is The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King at $1.1 billion, the only other films in the billion dollar club, although the first Harry Potter film is just a few million short of joining the club. But I digress.) It received a record 14 Oscar nominations and won a record 11.
I saw it opening night. And I was in the front row bawling like everyone else.
Titanic is the work of a master film-maker at the top of his game.
The new special edition DVD contains a gorgeous new transfer spread over two discs, plus three commentaries: one from Cameron, one from various cast and crew, and one from a pair of Titanic historians. All three are worth your attention and are informative. In addition, there are 50 or so mini-docs on the two discs available by either a seamless branching option while watching the movie, or by a "play-all" feature. There’s also the original ending (available with a Cameron commentary) that, although fine by itself, is clearly inferior to the ending as it was finally cut. A third disc contains nearly an hour of deleted and extended scenes, all with optional Cameron commentary. There are other featurettes on this disc, including a gag reel of sorts, a look at Cameron’s real dive on Titanic, and a time-lapse feature on building the set. In all, this is a treasure trove of material, which almost makes up for the lack of a definitive "making-of" documentary as was promised when the set was originally announced a s a four-disc set.
Why does the the ill-fated story of Titanic still touch us? At its heart, it is the story of human frailty and hubris. The lessons learned from Titanic were lost by the time of Challenger, and those lessons learned were forgotten again with Columbia. It is a story of class rule by human ego and unquestioned ideology and assumptions, as if even daring to question these assumptions is evil and unpatriotic.
And clearly, these are lessons that need to be learned again.
Titanic! (1943)
review by John W. Herbert
Titanic! The story of a ship and an iceberg and the ruinous gluttony of the British Empire!
Titanic! The story of the heroic German first officer who saved the day!
Titanic! The story of the obviously Jewish ship owner, who bet his fortune on the speed of his ship and almost paid with his life!
Titanic! In the original German with subtitles!
No, this isn’t James Cameron’s epic 1996 Titanic, it’s a 1943 German propaganda film of the same name.
Unlike Cameron’s film which puts fictional characters into the story while remaining true to historical facts, this version uses the basic story of iceberg meets ship to hang a propaganda-filled, greed-driven plot on.
Bruce Ismay and the other owners of Titanic and the White Star Line have hatched a plot where they will buy millions of shares of White Star stock before and during the voyage. Ismay will force Captain Smith to speed up and make the crossing in record time, and they’ll make a killing when the stock value goes up. An interesting idea to be sure, but it’s not the least bit factual. (And it doesn’t help that Ismay is portrayed as Jewish when he wasn’t.)
Newly arrived on Titanic is First Officer Peterson, newly transferred from Germany, and lucky for the passengers he did, because he seems to be the only competent officer on the ship. The heroic Peterson manages to dress down the Captain, reconcile with an old flame, launch lifeboats single-handedly, survive the sinking, rescue a child from the water and denounce the British Empire at a Parliamentary inquiry into the sinking. Not bad for an 85 minute film. At least he isn’t blonde.
Despite the questionable taste of the propaganda aspects of the film and its wild historical inaccuracies, Titanic does manage to hold its own as a film. Its lavish sets and costumes (many inaccurate, but nonetheless spectacular) can only make one wonder how a country paying for a war against the rest of the world could afford a production like this.
The sinking sequences are well done and exciting, and the special effects are fine for its time. (In fact some shots were nicked and used in 1959’s A Night To Remember.)
An interesting oddity, the 1943 version of Titanic is worth a look. And Titanic buffs should note the DVD contains an excellent collection of actual 1912 Titanic newsreel coverage.
Titanic! The story of a ship and an iceberg and the ruinous gluttony of the British Empire!
Titanic! The story of the heroic German first officer who saved the day!
Titanic! The story of the obviously Jewish ship owner, who bet his fortune on the speed of his ship and almost paid with his life!
Titanic! In the original German with subtitles!
No, this isn’t James Cameron’s epic 1996 Titanic, it’s a 1943 German propaganda film of the same name.
Unlike Cameron’s film which puts fictional characters into the story while remaining true to historical facts, this version uses the basic story of iceberg meets ship to hang a propaganda-filled, greed-driven plot on.
Bruce Ismay and the other owners of Titanic and the White Star Line have hatched a plot where they will buy millions of shares of White Star stock before and during the voyage. Ismay will force Captain Smith to speed up and make the crossing in record time, and they’ll make a killing when the stock value goes up. An interesting idea to be sure, but it’s not the least bit factual. (And it doesn’t help that Ismay is portrayed as Jewish when he wasn’t.)
Newly arrived on Titanic is First Officer Peterson, newly transferred from Germany, and lucky for the passengers he did, because he seems to be the only competent officer on the ship. The heroic Peterson manages to dress down the Captain, reconcile with an old flame, launch lifeboats single-handedly, survive the sinking, rescue a child from the water and denounce the British Empire at a Parliamentary inquiry into the sinking. Not bad for an 85 minute film. At least he isn’t blonde.
Despite the questionable taste of the propaganda aspects of the film and its wild historical inaccuracies, Titanic does manage to hold its own as a film. Its lavish sets and costumes (many inaccurate, but nonetheless spectacular) can only make one wonder how a country paying for a war against the rest of the world could afford a production like this.
The sinking sequences are well done and exciting, and the special effects are fine for its time. (In fact some shots were nicked and used in 1959’s A Night To Remember.)
An interesting oddity, the 1943 version of Titanic is worth a look. And Titanic buffs should note the DVD contains an excellent collection of actual 1912 Titanic newsreel coverage.
Man With the Screaming Brain
review by John W. Herbert
B-movie king Bruce Campbell stars in (and co-wrote and directed) Man With the Screaming Brain. Campbell plays an American businessman who, along with his wife, is in Bulagria for a business meeting. He’s the typical "ugly American," loud, impatient an dimpolite. His marrige is on the rocks, and he doesn’t help matters by flirting with a mysterious gypsy woman. His wife helps even less by giving their cab driver an extra big tip. It turns out that the cab driver was engaged to the gypsy, resulting in all manner of murder and mayhem. Fortunately, the bodies end up in the hands of a mad Bulgarian scientist (Stacey Keach(?!)) who (with his Russian assistant played by Ted Raimi) has a knack for transplanting brains and resurrecting bodies.
Essentially, this is pretty silly stuff. It gives Bruce Campbell a chance to do his best Steve Martin impression, and his character ends up sharing his brain with his wife’s lover, the cab driver. Shot on location in Bulgaria, the film has pretty good production values for a film of with a limited budget.
There’s a good number of extras for a low budget movie. There’s some behind the scenes docs, but the best one is a short feature where Campbell and his writing partner chart the 20+ years it took to get this film made. This was worth the price of the DVD all by itself.
Nothing in the film is overly impressive, yet nothing is really embarrassing either. Well, maybe Ted Raimi’s version of Russian rapping. Thankfully, it’s short. Otherwise, it’s a solid and enjoyable, fun B-movie.
B-movie king Bruce Campbell stars in (and co-wrote and directed) Man With the Screaming Brain. Campbell plays an American businessman who, along with his wife, is in Bulagria for a business meeting. He’s the typical "ugly American," loud, impatient an dimpolite. His marrige is on the rocks, and he doesn’t help matters by flirting with a mysterious gypsy woman. His wife helps even less by giving their cab driver an extra big tip. It turns out that the cab driver was engaged to the gypsy, resulting in all manner of murder and mayhem. Fortunately, the bodies end up in the hands of a mad Bulgarian scientist (Stacey Keach(?!)) who (with his Russian assistant played by Ted Raimi) has a knack for transplanting brains and resurrecting bodies.
Essentially, this is pretty silly stuff. It gives Bruce Campbell a chance to do his best Steve Martin impression, and his character ends up sharing his brain with his wife’s lover, the cab driver. Shot on location in Bulgaria, the film has pretty good production values for a film of with a limited budget.
There’s a good number of extras for a low budget movie. There’s some behind the scenes docs, but the best one is a short feature where Campbell and his writing partner chart the 20+ years it took to get this film made. This was worth the price of the DVD all by itself.
Nothing in the film is overly impressive, yet nothing is really embarrassing either. Well, maybe Ted Raimi’s version of Russian rapping. Thankfully, it’s short. Otherwise, it’s a solid and enjoyable, fun B-movie.
King Kong (1933)
review by John W. Herbert
It’s been years since I’ve seen the original King Kong, I gotta tell ya, this film rocks!
The new special edition DVD features the fully restored 1933 cut (not the 1938 "censored cut" which most casual viewers would be familiar with), and it looks gorgeous. It probably hasn’t looked or sounded this good since its original release.
And yes, the acting is a bit over the top, the dialogue a bit corny, and the special effects don’t hold a candle to what can be done today, but 70 years later, it still holds together remarkably well. The plot, as if you didn’t know, concerns a film-maker who’s heard rumors that some thing exists on a south sea island. He takes his camera crew and a young ingénue (Canada’s own Fay Wray) to the island and discovers the thing is Kong, a giant ape. He plans to use Wray’s character as bait to lure Kong into capture, and then showcase the ape in a traveling show and make millions. The plan goes wrong as Kong falls in love with the bait, and trying to find her, escapes in New York, causing mayhem and death.
The film is full of classic cinema images and moments. And being the 1933 version, many scenes of violence have been restored. Kong was vicious and brutal.
The special effects, for their time, are staggering. This was the Star Wars of 1933. No one had ever seen anything like this. The film-makers who trace their inspiration back to Willis O’Brien’s 18-ich tall Kong miniature are too numerous to mention, but some that are featured on the supplements are Peter Jackson, Ken Ralston, Bob Burns, Rick Baker, Ben Burtt, and Ray Harryhausen. And speaking of supplements, there’s an hour-long biography of Merion C. Cooper, who produced Kong, and a nearly three-hour documentary on the film itself. Considering that almost no behind the scenes material exists from the actual production itself and that hardly anyone involved is still alive, the documentary does a fine job showing how the film was made.
If you haven’t seen Kong in a while, and remember it as being hokey, well, yes, you’re right. But Kong still has the power to overcome all the pitfalls that a 70 year-old movie has for a 21st century audience. Yes, it’s cheesy, over-acted, hammy dialogue, with cheap sets, and crude special effects. It still works, and works brilliantly. Check it out. You owe it to yourself. And Kong.
It’s been years since I’ve seen the original King Kong, I gotta tell ya, this film rocks!
The new special edition DVD features the fully restored 1933 cut (not the 1938 "censored cut" which most casual viewers would be familiar with), and it looks gorgeous. It probably hasn’t looked or sounded this good since its original release.
And yes, the acting is a bit over the top, the dialogue a bit corny, and the special effects don’t hold a candle to what can be done today, but 70 years later, it still holds together remarkably well. The plot, as if you didn’t know, concerns a film-maker who’s heard rumors that some thing exists on a south sea island. He takes his camera crew and a young ingénue (Canada’s own Fay Wray) to the island and discovers the thing is Kong, a giant ape. He plans to use Wray’s character as bait to lure Kong into capture, and then showcase the ape in a traveling show and make millions. The plan goes wrong as Kong falls in love with the bait, and trying to find her, escapes in New York, causing mayhem and death.
The film is full of classic cinema images and moments. And being the 1933 version, many scenes of violence have been restored. Kong was vicious and brutal.
The special effects, for their time, are staggering. This was the Star Wars of 1933. No one had ever seen anything like this. The film-makers who trace their inspiration back to Willis O’Brien’s 18-ich tall Kong miniature are too numerous to mention, but some that are featured on the supplements are Peter Jackson, Ken Ralston, Bob Burns, Rick Baker, Ben Burtt, and Ray Harryhausen. And speaking of supplements, there’s an hour-long biography of Merion C. Cooper, who produced Kong, and a nearly three-hour documentary on the film itself. Considering that almost no behind the scenes material exists from the actual production itself and that hardly anyone involved is still alive, the documentary does a fine job showing how the film was made.
If you haven’t seen Kong in a while, and remember it as being hokey, well, yes, you’re right. But Kong still has the power to overcome all the pitfalls that a 70 year-old movie has for a 21st century audience. Yes, it’s cheesy, over-acted, hammy dialogue, with cheap sets, and crude special effects. It still works, and works brilliantly. Check it out. You owe it to yourself. And Kong.
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe
review by John W. Herbert
During World War II, four British children are sent out to the country to spend the war under care of a reclusive relative. The children discover a gateway through a wardrobe into another world called Narnia. There, in a world of centaurs, griffens, and talking animals, the children appear to be the fulfillment of a prophecy that four humans will one day lead an army with the help of Aslan, a lion, to defeat the self-appointed queen of Narnia, a witch.
Based of the classic book by C.S.Lewis, Narnia is not a bad movie, but as I was watching it I kept thinking to myself Lord of the Rings did this better. Indeed, The Lord of the Rings has set a very high standard when it comes to fantasy films, and perhaps comparing anything to the wondrous magic of LotR is unfair.
There’s nothing inherently bad in Narnia. The production is uniformly excellent, and the special effects are marvelous. The intergration of CGI characters into live-action elements is perfectly done.
But for me the film never grabbed me.
There’s also been some talk about the "Christian" aspects of Narnia. Aslan’s death and resurrection parallel Christ’s, and I believe that C.S. Lewis was deliberately evoking Christianity in his story. That said, I didn’t find that this aspect overwhelmed the story. Clearly, it’s there if you want to read that into it, but death and resurrection are so much a part of fantasy and science fiction films (Gandalf and Obi-Wan Kenobi for starters), never mind other myths and religions, that it does not overpower the movie.
Look, this isn’t a bad movie. Pay your money, you’ll like it. Will you care about it the next day? That’s another question.
originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #18
During World War II, four British children are sent out to the country to spend the war under care of a reclusive relative. The children discover a gateway through a wardrobe into another world called Narnia. There, in a world of centaurs, griffens, and talking animals, the children appear to be the fulfillment of a prophecy that four humans will one day lead an army with the help of Aslan, a lion, to defeat the self-appointed queen of Narnia, a witch.
Based of the classic book by C.S.Lewis, Narnia is not a bad movie, but as I was watching it I kept thinking to myself Lord of the Rings did this better. Indeed, The Lord of the Rings has set a very high standard when it comes to fantasy films, and perhaps comparing anything to the wondrous magic of LotR is unfair.
There’s nothing inherently bad in Narnia. The production is uniformly excellent, and the special effects are marvelous. The intergration of CGI characters into live-action elements is perfectly done.
But for me the film never grabbed me.
There’s also been some talk about the "Christian" aspects of Narnia. Aslan’s death and resurrection parallel Christ’s, and I believe that C.S. Lewis was deliberately evoking Christianity in his story. That said, I didn’t find that this aspect overwhelmed the story. Clearly, it’s there if you want to read that into it, but death and resurrection are so much a part of fantasy and science fiction films (Gandalf and Obi-Wan Kenobi for starters), never mind other myths and religions, that it does not overpower the movie.
Look, this isn’t a bad movie. Pay your money, you’ll like it. Will you care about it the next day? That’s another question.
originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #18
Alien Apocalypse
review by John W. Herbert
In the not too distant future, insectoid aliens have landed on earth and have destroyed much of humanity. The few humans who survived are forced to work in slave lumber camps. It seems that the aliens like to eat wood, preferably when it’s chopped down and cut into 2x4s. And when they’re not biting people’s heads off.
In Oregon, the last human spaceship finally returns to earth after 80 years in space (relativistically speaking). Two of its crewmembers are played by B-movie king Bruce Campbell and Renee (Xena) O’Conner. Together, they must convince their fellow humans to throw off the yoke of slavery, to gather together and fight as one for freedom, to blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. You get the idea.
This is cheese with a capital mozzarella. Shot on a low-budget in Bulgaria, this film has the prerequisites to qualify has a b-movie: cheap sets, cheap costumes, badly dubbed foreign actors, and cheap fx. On the other hand, Campbell and cast are almost able to carry it off. It works as a film. Not as a great film, but then it’s not supposed to be.
The aliens are a good combination of puppets and CGI, the Bulgarian locations are gorgeous. The script is not-overly serious, but never falls into total camp either, trying to keep a nice balance.
This is certainly worth a look if you want a fun, no thinking required flick to rent. And it’s got giant insect aliens biting people’s heads off! How could you go wrong renting this?
originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #18
In the not too distant future, insectoid aliens have landed on earth and have destroyed much of humanity. The few humans who survived are forced to work in slave lumber camps. It seems that the aliens like to eat wood, preferably when it’s chopped down and cut into 2x4s. And when they’re not biting people’s heads off.
In Oregon, the last human spaceship finally returns to earth after 80 years in space (relativistically speaking). Two of its crewmembers are played by B-movie king Bruce Campbell and Renee (Xena) O’Conner. Together, they must convince their fellow humans to throw off the yoke of slavery, to gather together and fight as one for freedom, to blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. You get the idea.
This is cheese with a capital mozzarella. Shot on a low-budget in Bulgaria, this film has the prerequisites to qualify has a b-movie: cheap sets, cheap costumes, badly dubbed foreign actors, and cheap fx. On the other hand, Campbell and cast are almost able to carry it off. It works as a film. Not as a great film, but then it’s not supposed to be.
The aliens are a good combination of puppets and CGI, the Bulgarian locations are gorgeous. The script is not-overly serious, but never falls into total camp either, trying to keep a nice balance.
This is certainly worth a look if you want a fun, no thinking required flick to rent. And it’s got giant insect aliens biting people’s heads off! How could you go wrong renting this?
originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #18
BloodRayne
review by John W. Herbert
It’s not often that a film will come along that is so bad not even I will like it. BloodRayne is one such film. The plot is derivative, as is most of this movie. Kristianna Loken stars as Rayne, a Damphir, part human-part vampire. She is being pursued by a vampire overlord (played by Ben Kingsley, who must be paying off a lost bet by being in this), and some human vampire hunters led by Michael Madsen. Along the way, she learns secrets about her past, gains special powers, confronts her father blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. This film looks like it had a budget equivalent my allowance when I was eleven. The vampire make-up looks like Buffy leftovers. This film is filled with bloody violence that is about as realistic and comical as the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Oh, wait – BloodRayne isn’t a comedy!Madsen is horribly miscast in this, but so is everyone else, too. Loken has some screen presence, but nothing can save her in this mess, and no-one else brings anything to their parts. Except for Meatloaf, who, in his only brief scene, deliriously chews on the scenery and swallows it whole. (He clearly is the only person who realizes what a piece of frommage he’s in – he’s billed in this film as “Meatloaf Aday.”)
Avoid this film at all costs.
Please.
originally piblished in UTOH #18, October 2006
It’s not often that a film will come along that is so bad not even I will like it. BloodRayne is one such film. The plot is derivative, as is most of this movie. Kristianna Loken stars as Rayne, a Damphir, part human-part vampire. She is being pursued by a vampire overlord (played by Ben Kingsley, who must be paying off a lost bet by being in this), and some human vampire hunters led by Michael Madsen. Along the way, she learns secrets about her past, gains special powers, confronts her father blah blah blah yadda yadda yadda. This film looks like it had a budget equivalent my allowance when I was eleven. The vampire make-up looks like Buffy leftovers. This film is filled with bloody violence that is about as realistic and comical as the Black Knight scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Oh, wait – BloodRayne isn’t a comedy!Madsen is horribly miscast in this, but so is everyone else, too. Loken has some screen presence, but nothing can save her in this mess, and no-one else brings anything to their parts. Except for Meatloaf, who, in his only brief scene, deliriously chews on the scenery and swallows it whole. (He clearly is the only person who realizes what a piece of frommage he’s in – he’s billed in this film as “Meatloaf Aday.”)
Avoid this film at all costs.
Please.
originally piblished in UTOH #18, October 2006
King Kong (2005)
by John W. Herbert
It's a familiar story: boy meets girl, boys casts girl in movie, girl meets other boy, girl and other boy fall in love, girl meets giant ape on Skull Island, ape falls for girl, boy captures ape, ape becomes a star on Broadway, ape destroys Broadway.
Peter Jackson's loving remake of 1933's King Kong is not a perfect film, but it comes very close. And slightly over three hours, it runs a little long. 20 minutes could have very easily come out of the Skull Island sequence. But that's a minor quibble, and if I'm going to be forced to sit through an extra 20 minutes of a giant gorilla battling giant T-Rexes, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
The film starts in New York as out of work actress Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) has a chance encounter with shady film-maker Carl Denham (Jack Black). Carl convinces Ann to join his crew and himself on a sea voyage to make a film on location on a south seas island. Denham also practically kidnaps his writer, Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody). What Denham hasn't revealed is that the island is uncharted, and an ancient heretofore unknown society on the island worships a large and dangerous being named Kong.
Jackson's remake follows the original's plot nearly note for note, but he manages to provide a few narrative deviations along the way. It's full of nods to the original, from Denham discovering that an actress named Fay is unavailable for his picture because she's shooting one for Merian Cooper at RKO (that would Fay Wray making the original Kong), to Peter Jackson's cameo as one of the pilots that kills Kong (original Kong directors Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack also did the same).
The film looks gorgeous. Just gorgeous. From a beautifully recreated depression-era New York to the lush jungles of Skull Island, the sets and production design are sumptuous and amazing.
The cast is mostly top notch, although occasional I thought that Jack Black seemed a little out of his depth, particularly his reading on the film's famous final line. But again, another minor quibble. Black holds his own for the most part.
And Kong himself is a wonder. With Andy Serkis (Gollum of Lords of the Ring fame) doing the motion capture work, there seems to be no limit to the range of emotion that can play across the big ape's face. And of course, it's Kong that propels this picture, from the battles with dinosaurs to his emotional attachment to Ann, his sorrow at losing her and being captured, and his all too brief joy at finding her again. If the audience cannot feel for Kong, this film is lost, but by the end we are firmly in Kong's camp, and our heart's break during the final battle atop the Empire State Building.
Grab your popcorn and a large pop, plan your bathroom breaks accordingly, and see this movie on a big screen. A larger than life movie legend deserves to be seen on a large screen.
It's a familiar story: boy meets girl, boys casts girl in movie, girl meets other boy, girl and other boy fall in love, girl meets giant ape on Skull Island, ape falls for girl, boy captures ape, ape becomes a star on Broadway, ape destroys Broadway.
Peter Jackson's loving remake of 1933's King Kong is not a perfect film, but it comes very close. And slightly over three hours, it runs a little long. 20 minutes could have very easily come out of the Skull Island sequence. But that's a minor quibble, and if I'm going to be forced to sit through an extra 20 minutes of a giant gorilla battling giant T-Rexes, that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
The film starts in New York as out of work actress Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) has a chance encounter with shady film-maker Carl Denham (Jack Black). Carl convinces Ann to join his crew and himself on a sea voyage to make a film on location on a south seas island. Denham also practically kidnaps his writer, Jack Driscoll (Adrien Brody). What Denham hasn't revealed is that the island is uncharted, and an ancient heretofore unknown society on the island worships a large and dangerous being named Kong.
Jackson's remake follows the original's plot nearly note for note, but he manages to provide a few narrative deviations along the way. It's full of nods to the original, from Denham discovering that an actress named Fay is unavailable for his picture because she's shooting one for Merian Cooper at RKO (that would Fay Wray making the original Kong), to Peter Jackson's cameo as one of the pilots that kills Kong (original Kong directors Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack also did the same).
The film looks gorgeous. Just gorgeous. From a beautifully recreated depression-era New York to the lush jungles of Skull Island, the sets and production design are sumptuous and amazing.
The cast is mostly top notch, although occasional I thought that Jack Black seemed a little out of his depth, particularly his reading on the film's famous final line. But again, another minor quibble. Black holds his own for the most part.
And Kong himself is a wonder. With Andy Serkis (Gollum of Lords of the Ring fame) doing the motion capture work, there seems to be no limit to the range of emotion that can play across the big ape's face. And of course, it's Kong that propels this picture, from the battles with dinosaurs to his emotional attachment to Ann, his sorrow at losing her and being captured, and his all too brief joy at finding her again. If the audience cannot feel for Kong, this film is lost, but by the end we are firmly in Kong's camp, and our heart's break during the final battle atop the Empire State Building.
Grab your popcorn and a large pop, plan your bathroom breaks accordingly, and see this movie on a big screen. A larger than life movie legend deserves to be seen on a large screen.
War of the Worlds (2005)
Review by John W. Herbert
Director Steven Spielberg’s take on the 1898 H.G.Wells novel War of the Worlds is a relentlessly grim and violent story of an alien invasion of earth. Schindler’s List notwithstanding, I’m hard-pressed to think of another film from Spielberg’s body of work that turns the screws as tightly as his new film. Even Jaws had some occasional tension relief: “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”
Here instead Spielberg is brutal and ruthless. This is full-on post-9/11 Spielberg. The benevolent aliens of Close Encounters are gone. So too is the lost child alien of ET, both replaced by vicious killers hiding in our midst that we are powerless to stop. Attacking at will, they show no mercy. In fact, we can’t stop them. They are only defeated because they are an affront to the natural order of things. Hunker down, listen to Father, stay the course. In due time, without our having to do anything or change our ways, they will simply dry up and die. We will prevail because God has deemed it so.
Ray Ferrier (played by Tom Cruise) is an average joe, a New Jersey longshoreman whose marriage went bust because he was unable to face the responsibility of fatherhood. The film opens with Ray’s ex (Miranda Otto, wasted in a small role) dropping off her and Ray’s kids for the weekend: a sullen teenaged son (Justin Chatwin), and a young daughter (Dakota Fanning). After the ex departs with her new husband, and we’ve had a couple of scenes to establish Ray has little connection with his children, a violent lightning storm sets off an electromagnetic pulse that renders most electronics non-operational and activates alien machines that have been buried underground eons ago. The machines attack with devastating fury, incinerating people and destroying buildings, bridges and homes at will. Ray and his kids barely escape the destruction of his neighbourhood, and the film follows their harrowing escape to Boston to find his ex (presumably to drop the kids off again).
Spielberg purposely goes for the jugular by invoking 9/11 imagery. When the aliens’ heat rays vapourize people, their bodies explode into ash clouds, but their clothes remain intact, floating in the air. Whenever there’s a large-scale attack, the skies are soon full of wafting clothes, eerily reminiscent of the clouds of paper that rained down in Manhattan when the towers fell.
Referencing a number of films such as Close Encounters, The Abyss, Titanic, and Invaders From Mars, Spielberg keeps everything relentlessly brutal, at least until the sucky ending when Ray’s son, believed to have died during a battle between the aliens and the army, turns out to be alive. Not only alive, but somehow he even managed beat Cruise to his ex’s house in Boston. No matter how dark the film, Spielberg still can’t resist the happy ending.
Tom Cruise’s recent bizarre public behaviour notwithstanding, he is quite effective as the man-child forced to grow up (the usual Spielberg gimmick). Unfortunately for him, he’s mostly upstaged by 11 year-old Dakota Fanning. It is scary how good an actress she is. Many child actors in movies are given lines that are just atrocious (witness Jake Lloyd’s Anakin in Star Wars: The Phantom Movie Menace) and impossible for any actor to convincingly deliver, yet somehow Fanning manages to find the key to delivering even the most hackneyed dialogue.
The film is a visual spectacle, courtesy of ILM’s computer-generated tableaux of destruction. Even the venerable John Williams seems to have found new depths of dark musical tones to explore.
Ultimately, there is still something unsatisfying here. Perhaps Spielberg has done such a good job and spent so much time selling the horror and devastation of the alien attack that the rushed ending as the aliens suddenly succumb to earthly germs and Ray has a happy if improbable family reunion seems too much of a deus ex machina (which, being faithful to the novel, it is). Perhaps a little darker ending would have saved the bad taste the sudden sugar-coating leaves in this dark coffee of a movie.
Director Steven Spielberg’s take on the 1898 H.G.Wells novel War of the Worlds is a relentlessly grim and violent story of an alien invasion of earth. Schindler’s List notwithstanding, I’m hard-pressed to think of another film from Spielberg’s body of work that turns the screws as tightly as his new film. Even Jaws had some occasional tension relief: “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”
Here instead Spielberg is brutal and ruthless. This is full-on post-9/11 Spielberg. The benevolent aliens of Close Encounters are gone. So too is the lost child alien of ET, both replaced by vicious killers hiding in our midst that we are powerless to stop. Attacking at will, they show no mercy. In fact, we can’t stop them. They are only defeated because they are an affront to the natural order of things. Hunker down, listen to Father, stay the course. In due time, without our having to do anything or change our ways, they will simply dry up and die. We will prevail because God has deemed it so.
Ray Ferrier (played by Tom Cruise) is an average joe, a New Jersey longshoreman whose marriage went bust because he was unable to face the responsibility of fatherhood. The film opens with Ray’s ex (Miranda Otto, wasted in a small role) dropping off her and Ray’s kids for the weekend: a sullen teenaged son (Justin Chatwin), and a young daughter (Dakota Fanning). After the ex departs with her new husband, and we’ve had a couple of scenes to establish Ray has little connection with his children, a violent lightning storm sets off an electromagnetic pulse that renders most electronics non-operational and activates alien machines that have been buried underground eons ago. The machines attack with devastating fury, incinerating people and destroying buildings, bridges and homes at will. Ray and his kids barely escape the destruction of his neighbourhood, and the film follows their harrowing escape to Boston to find his ex (presumably to drop the kids off again).
Spielberg purposely goes for the jugular by invoking 9/11 imagery. When the aliens’ heat rays vapourize people, their bodies explode into ash clouds, but their clothes remain intact, floating in the air. Whenever there’s a large-scale attack, the skies are soon full of wafting clothes, eerily reminiscent of the clouds of paper that rained down in Manhattan when the towers fell.
Referencing a number of films such as Close Encounters, The Abyss, Titanic, and Invaders From Mars, Spielberg keeps everything relentlessly brutal, at least until the sucky ending when Ray’s son, believed to have died during a battle between the aliens and the army, turns out to be alive. Not only alive, but somehow he even managed beat Cruise to his ex’s house in Boston. No matter how dark the film, Spielberg still can’t resist the happy ending.
Tom Cruise’s recent bizarre public behaviour notwithstanding, he is quite effective as the man-child forced to grow up (the usual Spielberg gimmick). Unfortunately for him, he’s mostly upstaged by 11 year-old Dakota Fanning. It is scary how good an actress she is. Many child actors in movies are given lines that are just atrocious (witness Jake Lloyd’s Anakin in Star Wars: The Phantom Movie Menace) and impossible for any actor to convincingly deliver, yet somehow Fanning manages to find the key to delivering even the most hackneyed dialogue.
The film is a visual spectacle, courtesy of ILM’s computer-generated tableaux of destruction. Even the venerable John Williams seems to have found new depths of dark musical tones to explore.
Ultimately, there is still something unsatisfying here. Perhaps Spielberg has done such a good job and spent so much time selling the horror and devastation of the alien attack that the rushed ending as the aliens suddenly succumb to earthly germs and Ray has a happy if improbable family reunion seems too much of a deus ex machina (which, being faithful to the novel, it is). Perhaps a little darker ending would have saved the bad taste the sudden sugar-coating leaves in this dark coffee of a movie.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
review by John W. Herbert
Filmmaker Kerry Conran’s first film, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, takes you back to those thrilling days of yesteryear, an alternate 1940 where famous scientists are being kidnapped while giant robot marauders are tearing apart New York and other world cities. Could these occurrences be linked? Following the story is star reporter Polly Perkins, played by Gwynneth Paltrow.
She finds herself caught when an army of giant robots tear apart New York. Thankfully, Polly and the city are saved by the timely arrival of Sky Captain (Jude Law), adventurer and leader of an "air squadron" for hire. Soon Polly and Sky Captain, who used to be lovers, are on the trail of a mysterious scientists named Totenkopf, who is sending out armies of robots and flying machines around the world to gather resources to further his diabolical aims.
They later team up with Frankie Cook (Angleina Jolie) who briefly was the "other woman" that broke up Joe and Polly, who comes to their aid in a way that brings new meaning to the term "flying fortress."
From New York to Tibet to a mysterious uncharted island, Sky Captain is a joyously fun ride. Like Raiders of the Lost Ark, Sky Captain harkens back to the 1940s action serials and adventures. But while Raiders was clearly a modern film recapturing that spirit, Sky Captain goes a step further to also capture the 30s and 40s in look, feel, tone texture and design. It is shot to look like a 1930s film, complete with heavy film grain and soft focus. In fact in the first 10 minutes of the film, Conran sets the mood by hitting every 1930s movie visual cliché he can think of. And while ultimately Sky Captain pales in comparison to Raiders (as almost any film would), Sky Captain does hold its own with "future nostalgic" design, great adventure set pieces, and witty banter.
Technically, this film is the ultimate expression of the George Lucas-style of filmmaking. – film your actors in front of a green screen and fill in the rest later. While Lucas’s excursions into this digital realm have had mixed results as entertainment, there’s little question that his films succeed as eye candy and that Sky Captain represents the next leap in this regard. The actors were filmed entirely in front of a green screen – no sets were ever built, and all the sets and backgrounds were created digitally. And while occasionally the actors do seem removed from their surroundings, for the most part the effect is seamless. And awesome.
Some things don’t add up – the bad guy has mastered anti-gravity but needs to steal electric generators. And it’s an odd alternate timeline. The WWII that we know does not seem to be underway, yet WW I clearly happened is referred as WW I, implying that WW II happened somewhere at sometime. And there is no mention of Hitler, yet it is German scientists that are being kidnapped, all during the apparent time of Hitler’s rise to power.
But King Kong was found in this timeline (the Venture is seen, along with ape cage), but the Titanic disaster clearly didn’t occur – we see the ship intact and in one piece, admittedly under water, but clearly not in the Atlantic. Perhaps this is our divergence point.
And what kind of world would we have if the Titanic hadn’t foundered on her maiden voyage? It might very well be the world of Sky Captain — technology and hubris run amuck. Indeed, the Titanic was a technological marvel. Some at the time suggested it represented the final triumph of man over nature. Is it too much to suggest that technological advancement could have continued unabated until the point that we see in the movie? Could the next step after "unsinkable" ships have been airplanes that swim and airports that fly? Could an unbridled technological advancement have been made and ushered in a golden age? But all the while underneath was the Achilles’ heel of human ego and hubris waiting for the fall? It is technology gone amuck, the machines and artifices of a long-dead scientist, that is the ultimate villain of Sky Captain after all. But I digress.
The DVD of Sky Captain contains a good assortment of features, including informative documentaries and Conran’s original Sky Captain demo reel.
Sky Captain is a whole ton of fun and well worth the investment of two hours of your life.
(originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
Filmmaker Kerry Conran’s first film, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, takes you back to those thrilling days of yesteryear, an alternate 1940 where famous scientists are being kidnapped while giant robot marauders are tearing apart New York and other world cities. Could these occurrences be linked? Following the story is star reporter Polly Perkins, played by Gwynneth Paltrow.
She finds herself caught when an army of giant robots tear apart New York. Thankfully, Polly and the city are saved by the timely arrival of Sky Captain (Jude Law), adventurer and leader of an "air squadron" for hire. Soon Polly and Sky Captain, who used to be lovers, are on the trail of a mysterious scientists named Totenkopf, who is sending out armies of robots and flying machines around the world to gather resources to further his diabolical aims.
They later team up with Frankie Cook (Angleina Jolie) who briefly was the "other woman" that broke up Joe and Polly, who comes to their aid in a way that brings new meaning to the term "flying fortress."
From New York to Tibet to a mysterious uncharted island, Sky Captain is a joyously fun ride. Like Raiders of the Lost Ark, Sky Captain harkens back to the 1940s action serials and adventures. But while Raiders was clearly a modern film recapturing that spirit, Sky Captain goes a step further to also capture the 30s and 40s in look, feel, tone texture and design. It is shot to look like a 1930s film, complete with heavy film grain and soft focus. In fact in the first 10 minutes of the film, Conran sets the mood by hitting every 1930s movie visual cliché he can think of. And while ultimately Sky Captain pales in comparison to Raiders (as almost any film would), Sky Captain does hold its own with "future nostalgic" design, great adventure set pieces, and witty banter.
Technically, this film is the ultimate expression of the George Lucas-style of filmmaking. – film your actors in front of a green screen and fill in the rest later. While Lucas’s excursions into this digital realm have had mixed results as entertainment, there’s little question that his films succeed as eye candy and that Sky Captain represents the next leap in this regard. The actors were filmed entirely in front of a green screen – no sets were ever built, and all the sets and backgrounds were created digitally. And while occasionally the actors do seem removed from their surroundings, for the most part the effect is seamless. And awesome.
Some things don’t add up – the bad guy has mastered anti-gravity but needs to steal electric generators. And it’s an odd alternate timeline. The WWII that we know does not seem to be underway, yet WW I clearly happened is referred as WW I, implying that WW II happened somewhere at sometime. And there is no mention of Hitler, yet it is German scientists that are being kidnapped, all during the apparent time of Hitler’s rise to power.
But King Kong was found in this timeline (the Venture is seen, along with ape cage), but the Titanic disaster clearly didn’t occur – we see the ship intact and in one piece, admittedly under water, but clearly not in the Atlantic. Perhaps this is our divergence point.
And what kind of world would we have if the Titanic hadn’t foundered on her maiden voyage? It might very well be the world of Sky Captain — technology and hubris run amuck. Indeed, the Titanic was a technological marvel. Some at the time suggested it represented the final triumph of man over nature. Is it too much to suggest that technological advancement could have continued unabated until the point that we see in the movie? Could the next step after "unsinkable" ships have been airplanes that swim and airports that fly? Could an unbridled technological advancement have been made and ushered in a golden age? But all the while underneath was the Achilles’ heel of human ego and hubris waiting for the fall? It is technology gone amuck, the machines and artifices of a long-dead scientist, that is the ultimate villain of Sky Captain after all. But I digress.
The DVD of Sky Captain contains a good assortment of features, including informative documentaries and Conran’s original Sky Captain demo reel.
Sky Captain is a whole ton of fun and well worth the investment of two hours of your life.
(originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
Incident at Loch Ness
review by John W. Herbert
When famed film director Werner Herzog (Fitzcarraldo) decides to make a documentary on the enigma that is the Loch Ness monster, the film crew that has been trailing Herzog for a documentary about his own life tag along to capture the master at work on a project. We see Herzog team-up with producer Zak Penn (X-Men 2, Last Action Hero), and we follow the crew to Scotland, where Herzog and Penn prep
differing views on the project. Herzog sees this as a quiet personal film, a psychological study of why people need to believe in a mythological monster, while Penn, author of many Hollywood blockbusters, wants a monster movie and insists on a little more razzmatazz, going so far as to hire a crazy crypto zoologist and a former Playboy model as the sonar operator. As the conflict between Herzog and Penn builds to a crisis and the crew begins filming, intrigue and disaster wait on the surface, and something mysterious lurks in the deep gloomy waters of the dark Scottish lake.
To say much more would ruin the story. Suffice it to say it is similar to Lost in La Mancha, the documentary of Terry Gilliam’s effort to film a version of Don Quixote that goes disastrously wrong and is never completed, and the only footage that survives to any degree is the on-set documentary footage. Similarly here, Herzog’s film is overtaken by deadly disaster and abandoned, and the only record that survives is the footage that was shot by the documentary crew following Herzog.
Herzog has an amazing on-camera presence (we’re talking serious gravitas here), and his disappointment and fatigue as his project collapses around him is palpable, and as the battle of vision with Penn grows, his frustration boils over. Herzog is clearly the star of this film, and brings to it a weight and a seriousness that serve the film well. It would be much less of a movie without him. Penn, who is no Klaus Kinski, has to be given credit for allowing himself to be portrayed on film as a class-A Hollywood schmuck. Penn’s enthusiasm for the project overwhelms his sensibility, and as his dealings with Herzog become more strained, he becomes all the more desperate.
Shot digitally, the film looks great for a budget of less than $1,000,000. (And it would take a lot of work to make any film shot on the scenic Scottish Lochs look bad.) The film itself is uneven; clearly the best part is the middle act as Herzog’s film dissolves before his eyes. There are no really big surprises in the film, save perhaps one, but there are plenty of laughs in Penn’s increasingly pathetic attempts to spice up Herzog’s film.
The DVD has a bunch of deleted scenes, most of which were cut for good reason. But a few are interesting. There’s also the obligatory commentary track:
Penn: Werner, I just want to say I’m glad, given all the legal problems, that you could come do this. It means a lot to me—
Herzog: Yes, okay, it’s one of those rituals of DVDs. Let’s just get it over with. It’s okay. I try to be a good sport.
The DVD is also loaded with Easter Eggs, at least 13 by my reckoning, including two other commentary tracks, and a documentary.
Incident at Loch Ness could be viewed as a metaphor for the modern movie industry: a talented director, working with a talented group of artists, has his work destroyed by the mindless interference of a moronic Hollywood powerbroker.
Golly, one might even think the whole thing is a satire.
(originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
When famed film director Werner Herzog (Fitzcarraldo) decides to make a documentary on the enigma that is the Loch Ness monster, the film crew that has been trailing Herzog for a documentary about his own life tag along to capture the master at work on a project. We see Herzog team-up with producer Zak Penn (X-Men 2, Last Action Hero), and we follow the crew to Scotland, where Herzog and Penn prep
differing views on the project. Herzog sees this as a quiet personal film, a psychological study of why people need to believe in a mythological monster, while Penn, author of many Hollywood blockbusters, wants a monster movie and insists on a little more razzmatazz, going so far as to hire a crazy crypto zoologist and a former Playboy model as the sonar operator. As the conflict between Herzog and Penn builds to a crisis and the crew begins filming, intrigue and disaster wait on the surface, and something mysterious lurks in the deep gloomy waters of the dark Scottish lake.
To say much more would ruin the story. Suffice it to say it is similar to Lost in La Mancha, the documentary of Terry Gilliam’s effort to film a version of Don Quixote that goes disastrously wrong and is never completed, and the only footage that survives to any degree is the on-set documentary footage. Similarly here, Herzog’s film is overtaken by deadly disaster and abandoned, and the only record that survives is the footage that was shot by the documentary crew following Herzog.
Herzog has an amazing on-camera presence (we’re talking serious gravitas here), and his disappointment and fatigue as his project collapses around him is palpable, and as the battle of vision with Penn grows, his frustration boils over. Herzog is clearly the star of this film, and brings to it a weight and a seriousness that serve the film well. It would be much less of a movie without him. Penn, who is no Klaus Kinski, has to be given credit for allowing himself to be portrayed on film as a class-A Hollywood schmuck. Penn’s enthusiasm for the project overwhelms his sensibility, and as his dealings with Herzog become more strained, he becomes all the more desperate.
Shot digitally, the film looks great for a budget of less than $1,000,000. (And it would take a lot of work to make any film shot on the scenic Scottish Lochs look bad.) The film itself is uneven; clearly the best part is the middle act as Herzog’s film dissolves before his eyes. There are no really big surprises in the film, save perhaps one, but there are plenty of laughs in Penn’s increasingly pathetic attempts to spice up Herzog’s film.
The DVD has a bunch of deleted scenes, most of which were cut for good reason. But a few are interesting. There’s also the obligatory commentary track:
Penn: Werner, I just want to say I’m glad, given all the legal problems, that you could come do this. It means a lot to me—
Herzog: Yes, okay, it’s one of those rituals of DVDs. Let’s just get it over with. It’s okay. I try to be a good sport.
The DVD is also loaded with Easter Eggs, at least 13 by my reckoning, including two other commentary tracks, and a documentary.
Incident at Loch Ness could be viewed as a metaphor for the modern movie industry: a talented director, working with a talented group of artists, has his work destroyed by the mindless interference of a moronic Hollywood powerbroker.
Golly, one might even think the whole thing is a satire.
(originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
review by John W. Herbert
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable movie. It has already supplanted Revenge of the Sith as the science fiction movie to see this year, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.
First, it has a slightly cheaper budget, and secondly it has the words Don’t Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on its ad campaign.
Twenty-five years in the making (and four years too late for its late and much lamented author), the movie version of The Hitchhiker’s Guide is a wonderfully fun return to Douglas Adams’s droll and goofy universe where the hero is not interested in bringing down evil galactic empires or going boldly where ever increasing numbers have gone before. Rather, he just wants a good cup of tea.
For those of you who have spent the last quarter century living under a ravenous blugblatter beast, harried everyman Arthur Dent (played by Martin Freeman) escapes from earth just before its destruction when it turns out that his friend, the unusually named Ford Prefect (Mos Def), is not an act out of work actor from Guilford at all, but is in fact an alien doing research for an encyclopedia called The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. They are eventually rescued by Zaphod Beelbebrox (Sam Rockwell), the President of the Galaxy who has kidnapped himself and stolen a prototype spaceship, and his companion Trillian (Zooey Deschanel), a woman from earth that Arthur once met at a fancy dress party and promptly blew it with. Together with Marvin, the ship’s paranoid android (played by Warwick Davis, and wonderfully voiced by Alan Rickman), they blunder into a series of adventures while they attempt to discover the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. Or rather the ultimate question, since the answer only makes sense if you know the question.
Sam Rockwell is terrific as President Beeblebrox. Part Freddie Mercury and part George Bush, Rockwell continues to add to his growing resumé of excellently portrayed offbeat characters. (I must say that I didn’t much care for the effect used for Zaphod’s second head; however this is a minor complaint and it’s certainly better and less distracting than the second head Mark Wing-Davey had to struggle with in the old BBC tv series of Hitchhiker’s. And while we’re on the topic of the original BBC series, look for a brief cameo from Simon Jones, the original Arthur Dent, and an appearance from the original Marvin the paranoid android. Douglas Adams’s head pops up a couple of times, too.)
The rest of the cast is uniformly excellent as well. Martin Freeman brings a confused yet compassionate feel to the embittered Arthur Dent, a man who has lost literally everything, yet still manages to find hope in his loss. Mos Def is sufficiently out of the ordinary as the alien Ford Prefect, but unfortunately his character all but disappears by the movie’s end. And kudos to the always-interesting Bill Nighy who brightens things up as Slartibartfast, the planetary engineer who built all those fiddly bits in Norway.
John Malkovitch plays a new character, spiritual leader Humma Kavula, and is generally wasted in the role and has little screen time. But Humma’s is the only plot thread that is ultimately left dangling – for a sequel, perhaps? And the Malkovitch character does lead into a new subplot that takes our heroes into some unexpected places, including a funny new piece of classic Adams business on the Vogon home world involving original thoughts and a shovel in the face.
If there’s any quibble, it’s that there simply isn’t enough of the Guide itself. Stephen Fry is a perfect choice for the voice of the Guide, and more Guide vignettes, with their wonderful animation, would have been welcome. (Stay for the credits as there is a bit more of the Guide there.)
The filmmakers are highly respectful of Adam’s work. Let’s face it – this could have been turned into a bowdlerized, Americanized, garglebalsted travesty that would have been the celluloid equivalent of Vogon poetry. But it is not. While many have criticized some of the changes and omissions from previous versions, it maintains the dry Adams wit and droll British humour, while also sneaking in a few tributes to other SF film icons. (The Guide is introduced in the movie in a visual nod to the monolith in orbit around Jupiter in 2001.)
Inevitably, one must ask how does it compare with previous incarnations. Adams never intended any particular version of Hitchhhiker’s to be definitive; each version, be it radio, book, record (remember those, kiddies?), stage show, or television, would be what it was. So perhaps there’s little point in comparing this to other versions. Indeed, one of my favourite bits of business, the conversation between Arthur, Ford and the construction foreman intent on knocking down Arthur’s house, is sadly truncated, and my favourite bit of dialogue in the whole darn five-part trilogy has been excised. And there are other missing bits that surely should have been included, including the revelation that earth only rated a one-word entry in the Guide: "Harmless" (although that bit does appear as a deleted scene on the DVD. And here's a double-dip alert: a 2-disc DVD has been released in Europe, while only a single disc version is available in North America... so far.)
But the question of which version you liked best is akin to asking yourself which is your favourite James Bond. Your favourite Bond is the one that you discovered first. And if this film draws more people to read the works of Douglas Adams, that can’t be bad.
(originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable movie. It has already supplanted Revenge of the Sith as the science fiction movie to see this year, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.
First, it has a slightly cheaper budget, and secondly it has the words Don’t Panic inscribed in large friendly letters on its ad campaign.
Twenty-five years in the making (and four years too late for its late and much lamented author), the movie version of The Hitchhiker’s Guide is a wonderfully fun return to Douglas Adams’s droll and goofy universe where the hero is not interested in bringing down evil galactic empires or going boldly where ever increasing numbers have gone before. Rather, he just wants a good cup of tea.
For those of you who have spent the last quarter century living under a ravenous blugblatter beast, harried everyman Arthur Dent (played by Martin Freeman) escapes from earth just before its destruction when it turns out that his friend, the unusually named Ford Prefect (Mos Def), is not an act out of work actor from Guilford at all, but is in fact an alien doing research for an encyclopedia called The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. They are eventually rescued by Zaphod Beelbebrox (Sam Rockwell), the President of the Galaxy who has kidnapped himself and stolen a prototype spaceship, and his companion Trillian (Zooey Deschanel), a woman from earth that Arthur once met at a fancy dress party and promptly blew it with. Together with Marvin, the ship’s paranoid android (played by Warwick Davis, and wonderfully voiced by Alan Rickman), they blunder into a series of adventures while they attempt to discover the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything. Or rather the ultimate question, since the answer only makes sense if you know the question.
Sam Rockwell is terrific as President Beeblebrox. Part Freddie Mercury and part George Bush, Rockwell continues to add to his growing resumé of excellently portrayed offbeat characters. (I must say that I didn’t much care for the effect used for Zaphod’s second head; however this is a minor complaint and it’s certainly better and less distracting than the second head Mark Wing-Davey had to struggle with in the old BBC tv series of Hitchhiker’s. And while we’re on the topic of the original BBC series, look for a brief cameo from Simon Jones, the original Arthur Dent, and an appearance from the original Marvin the paranoid android. Douglas Adams’s head pops up a couple of times, too.)
The rest of the cast is uniformly excellent as well. Martin Freeman brings a confused yet compassionate feel to the embittered Arthur Dent, a man who has lost literally everything, yet still manages to find hope in his loss. Mos Def is sufficiently out of the ordinary as the alien Ford Prefect, but unfortunately his character all but disappears by the movie’s end. And kudos to the always-interesting Bill Nighy who brightens things up as Slartibartfast, the planetary engineer who built all those fiddly bits in Norway.
John Malkovitch plays a new character, spiritual leader Humma Kavula, and is generally wasted in the role and has little screen time. But Humma’s is the only plot thread that is ultimately left dangling – for a sequel, perhaps? And the Malkovitch character does lead into a new subplot that takes our heroes into some unexpected places, including a funny new piece of classic Adams business on the Vogon home world involving original thoughts and a shovel in the face.
If there’s any quibble, it’s that there simply isn’t enough of the Guide itself. Stephen Fry is a perfect choice for the voice of the Guide, and more Guide vignettes, with their wonderful animation, would have been welcome. (Stay for the credits as there is a bit more of the Guide there.)
The filmmakers are highly respectful of Adam’s work. Let’s face it – this could have been turned into a bowdlerized, Americanized, garglebalsted travesty that would have been the celluloid equivalent of Vogon poetry. But it is not. While many have criticized some of the changes and omissions from previous versions, it maintains the dry Adams wit and droll British humour, while also sneaking in a few tributes to other SF film icons. (The Guide is introduced in the movie in a visual nod to the monolith in orbit around Jupiter in 2001.)
Inevitably, one must ask how does it compare with previous incarnations. Adams never intended any particular version of Hitchhhiker’s to be definitive; each version, be it radio, book, record (remember those, kiddies?), stage show, or television, would be what it was. So perhaps there’s little point in comparing this to other versions. Indeed, one of my favourite bits of business, the conversation between Arthur, Ford and the construction foreman intent on knocking down Arthur’s house, is sadly truncated, and my favourite bit of dialogue in the whole darn five-part trilogy has been excised. And there are other missing bits that surely should have been included, including the revelation that earth only rated a one-word entry in the Guide: "Harmless" (although that bit does appear as a deleted scene on the DVD. And here's a double-dip alert: a 2-disc DVD has been released in Europe, while only a single disc version is available in North America... so far.)
But the question of which version you liked best is akin to asking yourself which is your favourite James Bond. Your favourite Bond is the one that you discovered first. And if this film draws more people to read the works of Douglas Adams, that can’t be bad.
(originally published in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
Constantine
review by John W. Herbert
Heaven and hell, it seems, exist here on earth but each in a different dimensional plane. Demons and angels often cross over to our plane to try and influence us mere mortals. They appear not to overtly direct events, but to gently nudge us and take advantage of our natural tendencies towards good and evil. It’s a little bet between the Lord and the Devil – who can influence the most souls.
Some humans can see these supernatural beings and when they take too much advantage of our weak souls, someone has to send them back to Hell. Keanu Reeves stars as a bitter and hardened John Constantine who specializes in demon dispatching, but the trouble for Constantine is that he is dying, and he knows that he’s due for a one-way ticket to Hell, a Hell full of the demons he has sent previously sent there. And they’re waiting for him.
Keanu is great as Constantine. He’s one of those "niche" actors – not a great actor, but find him a good role in his range and he’s terrific. He can obviously handle the action stuff, and he’s very funny with his terrific deadpan delivery, which makes for some divine comedy. And there was a danger for him in this role, as there are some similarities to The Matrix (the idea that our world is not what it seems, and the fact that Constantine shares some wardrobe secrets with Thomas "Neo" Anderson), but Reeves pulls it off. His Constantine is weary, bitter and downtrodden.
The rest of the cast doesn’t slouch, either. Rachel Weisz is fine as Angela, whose sister’s suicide is a portent of encroaching evil. And Peter Stomare is just totally off the wall as, well, let’s just say as someone you better hope you never meet.
The special effects are solid but the film does not rely on endless digital creatures to tell its story. It’s not a monster movie in that sense, but it is spooky and creepy, and downright strange at some points. And it’s funny, too, thanks to Reeves’ deadpan, but thankfully he never devolves into the one-note catchphrase "witticisms" of other action movie heroes.
First time director Francis Lawrence does a decent job here, mixing in the humour with the strangeness and a touch of film noire, but never overpowering the actors with effects or a drowning goth-rock score as might have been a temptation. The movie starts a little shakily; there are some moments that are a little confusing and hard to fathom at first, but everything soon fits into place and rides smoothly. But the script isn’t spoon feed to the audience, either. You need to pay attention.
I can’t say how it compares to the original comic series as I’ve never read it, and I know some fans were put off by Constantine’s transformation from British to American for the movie. However, if fans are willing to overlook that transgression, Constantine is a solid film and well worth a look.
(originally published in Neo-Opsis #3, reprinted in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
Heaven and hell, it seems, exist here on earth but each in a different dimensional plane. Demons and angels often cross over to our plane to try and influence us mere mortals. They appear not to overtly direct events, but to gently nudge us and take advantage of our natural tendencies towards good and evil. It’s a little bet between the Lord and the Devil – who can influence the most souls.
Some humans can see these supernatural beings and when they take too much advantage of our weak souls, someone has to send them back to Hell. Keanu Reeves stars as a bitter and hardened John Constantine who specializes in demon dispatching, but the trouble for Constantine is that he is dying, and he knows that he’s due for a one-way ticket to Hell, a Hell full of the demons he has sent previously sent there. And they’re waiting for him.
Keanu is great as Constantine. He’s one of those "niche" actors – not a great actor, but find him a good role in his range and he’s terrific. He can obviously handle the action stuff, and he’s very funny with his terrific deadpan delivery, which makes for some divine comedy. And there was a danger for him in this role, as there are some similarities to The Matrix (the idea that our world is not what it seems, and the fact that Constantine shares some wardrobe secrets with Thomas "Neo" Anderson), but Reeves pulls it off. His Constantine is weary, bitter and downtrodden.
The rest of the cast doesn’t slouch, either. Rachel Weisz is fine as Angela, whose sister’s suicide is a portent of encroaching evil. And Peter Stomare is just totally off the wall as, well, let’s just say as someone you better hope you never meet.
The special effects are solid but the film does not rely on endless digital creatures to tell its story. It’s not a monster movie in that sense, but it is spooky and creepy, and downright strange at some points. And it’s funny, too, thanks to Reeves’ deadpan, but thankfully he never devolves into the one-note catchphrase "witticisms" of other action movie heroes.
First time director Francis Lawrence does a decent job here, mixing in the humour with the strangeness and a touch of film noire, but never overpowering the actors with effects or a drowning goth-rock score as might have been a temptation. The movie starts a little shakily; there are some moments that are a little confusing and hard to fathom at first, but everything soon fits into place and rides smoothly. But the script isn’t spoon feed to the audience, either. You need to pay attention.
I can’t say how it compares to the original comic series as I’ve never read it, and I know some fans were put off by Constantine’s transformation from British to American for the movie. However, if fans are willing to overlook that transgression, Constantine is a solid film and well worth a look.
(originally published in Neo-Opsis #3, reprinted in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
Comic Book: The Movie
by John W. Herbert
Mark Hamill plays Don Swan, a middle-aged comic book historian hired by a movie producer to film a DVD extra for a new film based on Swan’s favorite comic, Commander Courage. But Swan thinks that the Hollywood update of his hero from a WWII patriot to an early 21st century anti-terrorism vigilante isn’t right and he decides to do something about it. So as cameras follow Swan and his Hollywood handler around the San Diego Comicon, Swan is secretly plotting ways to disrupt the project.
The film stars Hamill and a host of his buddies from voiceover work, many of whom leapt at the chance to be seen in front of the camera (and many of whom are also comic geeks). In fact, all the parts are played by actors that are more famous for their voices than their faces. Billy West plays Leo, the grandson of the creator of Commander Courage who a con-virgin attending his first con with no idea what he is in for. Jess Harnell plays the rocker/cameraman Ricky, who dutifully follows Hamill’s character everywhere with digital camera in hand.. And Jim Cummings (the voice of Winnie the Pooh) plays a party animal who slowly drinks himself into a mind-altered stupor with absinthe. Oh, bother!
Cameos abound with Donna D’Errico, Kevin Smith, Stan Lee, Hugh Hefner, Bruce Campbell, Ray Harrhausen, Matt Groening and Bill Mumy appearing, just to name only a few on the dozens of familiar faces crammed into this film. (In one scene, Hamill’s character asks a trio of gentlemen if he can share their table in a snack bar. One tells him, "No, move along, son." Look closely – it’s David ‘Darth Vader’ Prowse.) Even Sid Caesar and Jonathan Winters share a scene on camera for the first time in 41 years. And dozens of comic professionals appear, too.
Clearly a labour of love by self-professed comic geek Hamill, Comic Book: The Movie is a "mockumentary" in the improvised style of This is Spinal Tap, Best in Show and Hard Core Logo. Using digital cameras and filmed mostly at the San Diego Comicon, it has the perfect look of a faux low-budget DVD extra. (And if you’ve ever wanted to see what a con with 65,000 attendees looks like, here’s your chance.) Hamill and crew clearly had a blast improvising with whomever they came across at the Con, be they star, fan or mundane. To be fair, the actors here just don’t quite have the chops that the actors in Chris Guest’s series of mockumentaries do, and the film could have used a tighter edit. And frankly, the ending seemed to go flat. But it was a heck of a lot fun getting there. This is the best fan-oriented film since Free Enterprise.
And the DVD is loaded with tons ofgreat extras, including a panel at Comicon featuring all the voiceover artists strutting their stuff. (Or stuttering their stuff in Billy West’s case – his rendition of Porky Pig singing "My Generation" is as funny as it sounds.)
Comic Book: The Movie – not a hoax, but definitely a fun, imaginary tale,’ Nuff said.
(originally published in Neo-Opsis #3, reprinted in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
Mark Hamill plays Don Swan, a middle-aged comic book historian hired by a movie producer to film a DVD extra for a new film based on Swan’s favorite comic, Commander Courage. But Swan thinks that the Hollywood update of his hero from a WWII patriot to an early 21st century anti-terrorism vigilante isn’t right and he decides to do something about it. So as cameras follow Swan and his Hollywood handler around the San Diego Comicon, Swan is secretly plotting ways to disrupt the project.
The film stars Hamill and a host of his buddies from voiceover work, many of whom leapt at the chance to be seen in front of the camera (and many of whom are also comic geeks). In fact, all the parts are played by actors that are more famous for their voices than their faces. Billy West plays Leo, the grandson of the creator of Commander Courage who a con-virgin attending his first con with no idea what he is in for. Jess Harnell plays the rocker/cameraman Ricky, who dutifully follows Hamill’s character everywhere with digital camera in hand.. And Jim Cummings (the voice of Winnie the Pooh) plays a party animal who slowly drinks himself into a mind-altered stupor with absinthe. Oh, bother!
Cameos abound with Donna D’Errico, Kevin Smith, Stan Lee, Hugh Hefner, Bruce Campbell, Ray Harrhausen, Matt Groening and Bill Mumy appearing, just to name only a few on the dozens of familiar faces crammed into this film. (In one scene, Hamill’s character asks a trio of gentlemen if he can share their table in a snack bar. One tells him, "No, move along, son." Look closely – it’s David ‘Darth Vader’ Prowse.) Even Sid Caesar and Jonathan Winters share a scene on camera for the first time in 41 years. And dozens of comic professionals appear, too.
Clearly a labour of love by self-professed comic geek Hamill, Comic Book: The Movie is a "mockumentary" in the improvised style of This is Spinal Tap, Best in Show and Hard Core Logo. Using digital cameras and filmed mostly at the San Diego Comicon, it has the perfect look of a faux low-budget DVD extra. (And if you’ve ever wanted to see what a con with 65,000 attendees looks like, here’s your chance.) Hamill and crew clearly had a blast improvising with whomever they came across at the Con, be they star, fan or mundane. To be fair, the actors here just don’t quite have the chops that the actors in Chris Guest’s series of mockumentaries do, and the film could have used a tighter edit. And frankly, the ending seemed to go flat. But it was a heck of a lot fun getting there. This is the best fan-oriented film since Free Enterprise.
And the DVD is loaded with tons ofgreat extras, including a panel at Comicon featuring all the voiceover artists strutting their stuff. (Or stuttering their stuff in Billy West’s case – his rendition of Porky Pig singing "My Generation" is as funny as it sounds.)
Comic Book: The Movie – not a hoax, but definitely a fun, imaginary tale,’ Nuff said.
(originally published in Neo-Opsis #3, reprinted in Under the Ozone Hole #17)
Alien vs. Predator
by John W. Herbert
After years of development and rejected scripts, the long awaited merging of two of 20th Century Fox’s biggest sf franchises finally arrives, with Alien vs. Predator.
Something has awakened in a temple deep beneath the Antarctic ice. A millionaire businessman has assembled a team of international experts to dig through the ice and to claim and explore the structure. Unbeknownst to the explorers, the temple was built by the race of intergalactic hunters known as the Predators. They’ve been using the temple for eons as a rite of passage ceremony for young Predators – they have captured an Alien queen that they are using as breeding stock for use in the ceremony. Kill an Alien, be a man. Well, a manly Predator, anyway.
Unfortunately for our gang of human explorers, as they enter the temple (whose interior walls rearrange themselves every ten minutes to confuse the prey) they are about to become dinner.
This is by no means the worst Alien movie I’ve seen, nor is it the best. But it is a thoroughly satisfactory B-move monster flick. The action is fast and quick (and so is the movie, clocking in at a brisk 100 minutes), and there is a certain fascination to seeing these two movie monster kings duke it out. The characters are competently acted yet cookie-cutter, the script is interesting without being very engaging, the special effects and make-up are adequate and expensive but not cheesey. The temple’s moving walls are an obvious gimmick to crank up the tension. And while it does work to some extent, the clockwork precision of the walls moving every ten minutes seems to be replaced by the walls moving only when it serves the script. But having Lance Hendrickson in the film is also a nice shout out to the previous Alien movies and helps keep at least some semblance of continuity to the other films.
The DVD has a dearth of special features. It has one marked Super-Bowl Promo. Silly me thought it was a special Super-Bowl trailer for the film. But no, it was just an advertisement for the Super-Bowl. A short prologue has been re-inserted into the film that certainly doesn’t hinder the film, but doesn’t particularly help it and just as easily could have been one of the few deleted scenes in the special features. In fact, three extended scenes and two commentary tracks are the only extra features on this bare-bone discs. I suspect an Unrated cut will be released sometime soon. (In fact, here’s a double-dip alert: a two-disc, full-blown, special edition version has already been released in Europe. A North American 2-disc version will be released this fall.)
The film implies that the Predators are a far-fling culture… they could even have created the Aliens for their initiation ceremony. As such, you could view AvP as a cautionary tale of technology out of control as the Aliens threaten to overrun the temple and the world. But that would be a real stretch beyond the reach of this film. This film doesn’t enhance either franchise to any great degree. It’s fair to say that in terms of development, the Predators come off a little better than the Aliens, but that’s not saying much. Perhaps the best that could be said is that neither franchise suffers at the hand of this film. So grab the popcorn, and enjoy the ride. There’s worse movies that you could be watching.
(originally published in Neo-Opsis #6, reprinted in Under the Ozone Hole #17.)
After years of development and rejected scripts, the long awaited merging of two of 20th Century Fox’s biggest sf franchises finally arrives, with Alien vs. Predator.
Something has awakened in a temple deep beneath the Antarctic ice. A millionaire businessman has assembled a team of international experts to dig through the ice and to claim and explore the structure. Unbeknownst to the explorers, the temple was built by the race of intergalactic hunters known as the Predators. They’ve been using the temple for eons as a rite of passage ceremony for young Predators – they have captured an Alien queen that they are using as breeding stock for use in the ceremony. Kill an Alien, be a man. Well, a manly Predator, anyway.
Unfortunately for our gang of human explorers, as they enter the temple (whose interior walls rearrange themselves every ten minutes to confuse the prey) they are about to become dinner.
This is by no means the worst Alien movie I’ve seen, nor is it the best. But it is a thoroughly satisfactory B-move monster flick. The action is fast and quick (and so is the movie, clocking in at a brisk 100 minutes), and there is a certain fascination to seeing these two movie monster kings duke it out. The characters are competently acted yet cookie-cutter, the script is interesting without being very engaging, the special effects and make-up are adequate and expensive but not cheesey. The temple’s moving walls are an obvious gimmick to crank up the tension. And while it does work to some extent, the clockwork precision of the walls moving every ten minutes seems to be replaced by the walls moving only when it serves the script. But having Lance Hendrickson in the film is also a nice shout out to the previous Alien movies and helps keep at least some semblance of continuity to the other films.
The DVD has a dearth of special features. It has one marked Super-Bowl Promo. Silly me thought it was a special Super-Bowl trailer for the film. But no, it was just an advertisement for the Super-Bowl. A short prologue has been re-inserted into the film that certainly doesn’t hinder the film, but doesn’t particularly help it and just as easily could have been one of the few deleted scenes in the special features. In fact, three extended scenes and two commentary tracks are the only extra features on this bare-bone discs. I suspect an Unrated cut will be released sometime soon. (In fact, here’s a double-dip alert: a two-disc, full-blown, special edition version has already been released in Europe. A North American 2-disc version will be released this fall.)
The film implies that the Predators are a far-fling culture… they could even have created the Aliens for their initiation ceremony. As such, you could view AvP as a cautionary tale of technology out of control as the Aliens threaten to overrun the temple and the world. But that would be a real stretch beyond the reach of this film. This film doesn’t enhance either franchise to any great degree. It’s fair to say that in terms of development, the Predators come off a little better than the Aliens, but that’s not saying much. Perhaps the best that could be said is that neither franchise suffers at the hand of this film. So grab the popcorn, and enjoy the ride. There’s worse movies that you could be watching.
(originally published in Neo-Opsis #6, reprinted in Under the Ozone Hole #17.)
Star Trek: Generations
review by John W. Herbert
Kirk, Scotty and Chekov are on board attending the launch of the Enterprise B when the ship is forced to respond to a distress call. A couple of ships have been caught by a strange ribbon of electromagnetic energy (the nexus). For the fourth time in seven movies, the Enterprise is the only ship in position to respond to this distress call. (For the third time in seven movies, the Enterprise is still in Earth’s solar system when the call comes in. Doesn’t Starfleet keep any other ships in the neighbourhood?) The Enterprise responds and saves some of the people (including Guinan and Dr. Soran) on board the ships caught in the nexus, but an energy bolt from the nexus vaporizes a portion of the Enterprise and, presumably, Kirk along with it.
Flash forward 78 years. The Enterprise D receives a distress call from a solar research station, while Captain Picard receives some distressing personal news. His brother and nephew have been killed in a fire. Meanwhile, Data has decided it’s time to install the emotion chip that will allow him to experience emotions for the first time. The Enterprise discovers that the Romulans have wrecked the station, leaving among the few survivors, Dr. Soran. But after further investigation on the station, LaForge and Data discover that Soran has built a weapon that will destroy stars. Soran returns to the station and fires his weapon at the local star, and escapes thanks to some Klingons he has been working with.
Guinan explains to Picard about the nexus, and how she and Soran were in the nexus but plucked out just in time by the Enterprise B. The nexus is a place of joy and harmony, she says, and that everything you could want was there. Picard and Data realize that Soran is blowing up stars to alter the course of the nexus so that it hits a certain planet, where Soran will once again enter the nexus, this time permanently. Unfortunately, the next star he needs to blow up will kill hundreds of millions of people.
Picard beams down to stop Soran, while the Klingons duke it out with the Enterprise. This time, the Klingons manage to fatally injure the Enterprise before they themselves get blowed up. The Enterprise crashes on the planet. Picard cannot stop Soran who launches a rocket that blows up the sun, and alters the course of the nexus to the planet and it absorbs both Picard and Soran.
Picard finds himself having Christmas dinner with his wife and kids. Except he doesn’t have a wife and kids. He realizes this is some sort of illusion. Guinan appears, and explains that she is but a shadow of the real Guinan left behind when the Enterprise B’s transported her away. She tells Picard that he can leave and return to anytime he wishes. He wants to go back and stop Soran, and Guinan suggests there might be someone here who can help him: Kirk. Picard convinces Kirk that all in the nexus is an illusion, and together they return and defeat Soran, but at the cost of Kirk’s life. Picard returns to his all but destroyed Enterprise, and gathers a few effects, and leaves. The End.
This film has serious problems. The opening prologue on the Enterprise B is great; brisk, fast-paced and exciting. The first scenes in Picard’s timeline, involving a promotion ceremony for Worf, are also well done, but after that, with the exception on the spectacular crash sequence, the film’s pacing somehow goes off-kilter and it drags terribly in some places. The movie plays like a tv episode (I was waiting for a preview for next week’s movie at the end), and the constant alternating between an emotive scene, then a bit of action, then a bit more emotion, then some action, kills the momentum this film desperately needs. It seems to take a lot of time to get nowhere, and many things are tossed in for no apparent reason than to kill time. The Klingons, for one, could been cut and no one would have missed them.
Another major problem here is that most of the important plot points have all been done in previous Star Trek movies:
- the death of a major character;
- a madman on a deranged/spiritual quest;
- the old “give the unemotional character emotions and play him for laughs” routine;
- the old “blow up the Enterprise” routine;
- the old “kill off part of the captain’s family” routine, or, more specifically, kill off the younger generation of the captain’s family so the captain can emote and wax philosophically on the nature of life, death, blah, blah, blah;
- a strange unexplainable interstellar phenomenon causing havoc and destruction;
- and Klingons running amuck.
Data even rescues his cat, à la Alien. In addition, we’re treated to two hackneyed TNG clichés: the “alternate universe/timeline,” much overused in the last season of TNG; and Geordi shouting that’s there a warp core breach as the Enterprise begins her death throes. (Geordi saying, “Coolant leak! We have a warp core breach!” should be added to the TNG drinking game.) In fact, the Enterprise crew’s memory is slipping: Geordi doesn’t order the warp core ejected, a trick he’s done numerous times in the past; and when the Klingons discover the Enterprise’s shield frequency and blast a photon torpedo through them, no one thinks to change the shield frequency, another trick they’ve done numerous times in the past. (Of course, the Klingons are no better -- when the Enterprise finally gets off a good shot, they just sit and watch it come towards them. Hardly the sort of thing a warrior would do.)
Another major disappointment is the long-awaited meeting between Kirk and Picard. During their initial meeting in the nexus, the film picks up considerably, but upon their return to reality, the climatic fight scene is poorly staged, sloppily edited, and, quite frankly, an embarrassment. Ultimately, their encounter is giving short shrift and the very thing that should have made this a very special movie instead marks another disappointment. In fact, most of the supporting cast is barely seen after the opening scene: Worf and Crusher seem to have disappeared completely, Troi has very little to do, and Riker spends most of time stoically barking orders. Data, at least, gets to steal some scenes with emotion chip subplot, but even that started to wear thin. Malcolm McDowell makes the most of the thankless role of Soran, but even he as the villain has surprisingly little to do.
This week’s episode, er um, I mean this movie’s plot hinges on the mysterious nexus, and it is here that it opens holes big enough to fly a Klingon Assault Group through. If “part” of Guinan has been left behind, is part of Picard left behind? Or Soran? Or Kirk, for that matter, to be revived for the next movie? In the nexus, how come Guinan is able to find Picard? Why couldn’t Soran find him? (A neat scene would have been Picard fighting an intellectual battle with Soran in the nexus, and Kirk fighting the physical battle with Soran outside the nexus. Oh, well....) If Picard and Kirk can exit the nexus at any time, why do they choose to do so at a time when Soran still has all the advantages? Why not earlier on in the proceedings when they have the advantage over Soran? Or why, when it was obvious that Kirk was fatally injured, didn’t Picard just let Soran win again and re-enter the nexus, meet Kirk again and take another go at Soran? The could’ve tried any number of times until they got the result they wanted. (Why wouldn’t Kirk go back and try to save Edith Keeler? Or even back to his own time? Or back to his own time and leave Soran in the nexus? Why wouldn’t Picard go back and make sure the Borg never take him over?) The nexus is implied as the cause of Guinan’s strange “sixth sense.” Will Picard, having undergone the same experience as Guinan, now have this same strange awareness? Don’t hold my breath. Soran is blowing up stars to force the nexus to arrive at a certain planet because, we are told, that ships get blown up if they too close to the nexus; yet we’ve already seen earlier in the film Kirk, Guinan and Soran enter the nexus from ships! The nexus passes through the planet and leaves it unharmed. It blows up ships, but leaves planets intact! Soran is using a chemically powered rocket to deliver his technobabble payload to the sun. It takes only eleven seconds for this rocket to go from the planet to the star! He’s created a faster than light chemical rocket! And the sun blows up instantly, none of this waiting around a few minutes for the light of the explosion to travel back to the planet (physics is so damn annoying, anyway).
Star Trek: The Quest for Bucks continues. The once mighty franchise is now in the hands of people who only care about delivering product, not satisfying entertainment. They believe that mindless Trekkies will watch any mindless pap that appears before them. Trouble is, they may be right.
Originally published by Under the Ozone Hole Number Ten – December, 1994
Batman Forever
review by John W. Herbert
Make no mistake: Batman Forever is an entirely different animal than its two predecessors, Batman and Batman Returns. Gone are Michael Keaton as the Darknight Detective and previous director Tim Burton remains only as an executive producer. The biggest change is the departure of Burton's trademark dark, brooding atmosphere and deadpan dark humour. Batman Forever, directed by Joel Schumacher, is a slam-bang action flick that rarely pauses for breath, a rapid-fire burst of staccato editing and high-energy set pieces. A lot of time is spent blowing things up in this picture. In fact, a whole new slew of Bat-toys are introduced (new and improved versions of the Batcave, Batmobile, Batwing and a brand new Batboat) and all of them get blowed up by the end of the film. In fact, the Batwing and Batboat both barely survive no more than a couple of minutes of screen time. I think there's even a plot.
Let's cut to the chase. Who makes a better Batman? Val Kilmer slips into the role effortlessly and seamlessly and indeed outshines Keaton as the Caped Crusader. Keaton, however, brought a certain quirkiness to Batman's alter-ego Bruce Wayne that is sadly lacking in Kilmer's performance. So it's a tossup. The rest of the cast turn in mostly satisfactory performances. Tommy Lee Jones's Two-Face, after a rousing, rip-roaring start, gets nearly forgotten as Jim Carrey's Riddler takes control, becoming merely an add-on that has to be continually shoehorned into the story. The movie is indeed designed to take advantage of Carrey's recent phenomenal popularity as we are treated to endless shots of Carrey hamming it up and mugging for the camera. Unfortunately he grows rather tedious.
The film's action sequences are spectacular, and the Robin subplot works very well, too. Director Schumacher says he wanted to film a "real comic book" and that is exactly what he's done. The plot is strictly comic book, and the characters are basically two-dimensional.
If you thought the previous Batman films were too heavy and disturbing, you'll probably like Batman Forever. If you liked Burton's slightly twisted vision of the Dark Knight, then this film will probably disappoint.
Originally published by Under the Ozone Hole Number Thirteen – March, 1996
Make no mistake: Batman Forever is an entirely different animal than its two predecessors, Batman and Batman Returns. Gone are Michael Keaton as the Darknight Detective and previous director Tim Burton remains only as an executive producer. The biggest change is the departure of Burton's trademark dark, brooding atmosphere and deadpan dark humour. Batman Forever, directed by Joel Schumacher, is a slam-bang action flick that rarely pauses for breath, a rapid-fire burst of staccato editing and high-energy set pieces. A lot of time is spent blowing things up in this picture. In fact, a whole new slew of Bat-toys are introduced (new and improved versions of the Batcave, Batmobile, Batwing and a brand new Batboat) and all of them get blowed up by the end of the film. In fact, the Batwing and Batboat both barely survive no more than a couple of minutes of screen time. I think there's even a plot.
Let's cut to the chase. Who makes a better Batman? Val Kilmer slips into the role effortlessly and seamlessly and indeed outshines Keaton as the Caped Crusader. Keaton, however, brought a certain quirkiness to Batman's alter-ego Bruce Wayne that is sadly lacking in Kilmer's performance. So it's a tossup. The rest of the cast turn in mostly satisfactory performances. Tommy Lee Jones's Two-Face, after a rousing, rip-roaring start, gets nearly forgotten as Jim Carrey's Riddler takes control, becoming merely an add-on that has to be continually shoehorned into the story. The movie is indeed designed to take advantage of Carrey's recent phenomenal popularity as we are treated to endless shots of Carrey hamming it up and mugging for the camera. Unfortunately he grows rather tedious.
The film's action sequences are spectacular, and the Robin subplot works very well, too. Director Schumacher says he wanted to film a "real comic book" and that is exactly what he's done. The plot is strictly comic book, and the characters are basically two-dimensional.
If you thought the previous Batman films were too heavy and disturbing, you'll probably like Batman Forever. If you liked Burton's slightly twisted vision of the Dark Knight, then this film will probably disappoint.
Originally published by Under the Ozone Hole Number Thirteen – March, 1996
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
Review by John W. Herbert
For the first time since 1977, my jaw hit the floor while watching the opening scene of a Star Wars movie.
The Force is strong in this one.
With the galactic-wide Republic collapsing under the weight of civil war, separatists have kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine in an attempt to end the Clone Wars, which have been raging for years. Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker launch a desperate attempt to rescue him, unaware that the Chancellor has all this time been playing both the separatists and the Republic against each other in his quest for power. And Anakin’s ill-fated and secret love for Senator Padmé Amadala, who is now pregnant, plays into Palpatine’s plan, and sends Anakin over to the dark side.
And it is with Obi-Wan’s and Anakin’s rescue attempt that the film begins, a rip-roaring first act of amazing special effects and action. Even R2-D2 gets to play action hero as he kicks serious droid ass.
The film rarely slows down from there, mainly because writer-director George Lucas has left himself a lot of plot ground to cover. It zips along, tightly edited, grinding down, much like Anakin is ground down, into relentless darkness. As Palpatine unveils his plan and subverts Anakin’s will, Lucas turns the screws even tighter until Anakin’s mortal failings destroy him, body and soul. Literally.
Perhaps the most remarkable about Revenge of the Sith is that even though we already know how it’s going to end even before we enter the theatre, we keep our interest in this film. But only just – at a runtime of two hours and twenty minutes, it almost reaches the point of wearing out its welcome.
The special effects are simply stunning. Say what you will about the two lackluster predecessors to Sith, they were excellent eye candy. And this film is no exception. In fact, this is the best looking of all six films. It’s gorgeously photographed.
Lucas has also learned his lesson about special effects. While the film is just drenched in computer-generated wonders, he keeps the attention on the flesh and blood characters, and doesn’t end the film with a battle between cartoon aliens and cartoon robots, as in the much-lamented The Phantom Menace. In fact, the cartoon characters have been kept to a minimum. Jar Jar Binks is seen briefly but not heard, and the new big bad of the film, the CGI-created General Grievous, is dispatched halfway through the proceedings, leaving Yoda as the only cartoon character of note in the film.
It’s this tight focus on the human characters that make this film work as well as it does. This is the darkest of the six films, and delivers the most human conflict, and gives the actors a chance to shine. Ewan MacGregor is terrific as Obi-Wan as he channels the spirit of Alec Guiness. Hayden Christensen holds his own as Anakin. Less wooden than he was in Attack of the Clones, he’s still pretty much a one- or two-note actor in Sith, but fortunately he’s hitting the right ones. Natalie Portman has less to do as Padmé in this film, and doesn’t get much screen time to work. And finally Ian McDiarmid (as Palpatine) receives the chance to chew the scenery as if it were candy as Lucas’s normally awkwardly written dialogue oozes smoothly off his tongue. Christopher Lee and Samuel L. Jackson are pretty much wasted.
Again as in Menace and Clones, there is some stilted dialogue and awkward scenes, particularly in the film’s big pay off scene, the ultimate revealing of the helmeted Darth Vader, which while breathtaking (you could have heard a pin drop in the theatre when I saw it), ends with Vader’s gawky and embarrassing cry of “Noooo!” in a moment of superfluous cheesiness. Also clunky are many scenes involving Padmé and Anakin. But here Lucas has enough sense to cut to the chase and keep those scenes short and lean. There’s one marvelous and beautifully shot sequence involving the two of them as they reflect on the dark turns their journey is taking that has no dialogue, only ominously swelling music, courtesy of composer John Williams.
Lucas even manages to tie up some loose ends: why doesn’t C-3P0 remember that his creator’s name is Skywalker, and the mystery of Anakin’s virgin birth. He takes a crack at explaining how Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan and Yoda are able to transcend death, but this is a continuity point that Lucas seems to have fouled up. (Apparently Qui-Gon discovered the technique of maintaining his consciousness after death and will teach it to Yoda and Obi-Wan during their years of exile. This explains why Yoda’s and Obi-Wan’s bodies discorporate when they die and why Luke can see them in their “ghostly form” in later films. It doesn’t explain why Qui-Gon’s body doesn’t discorporate when he dies, nor why he is not present in his ghostly form (although his ghostly voice makes a cameo in Attack of the Clones). Further, in no way does this explain how Anakin/Darth ends up in ghostly day-glow robes at the end of Return of the Jedi. Surely Yoda and/or Obi-Wan didn’t teach the evil Darth Vader this technique, and there’s no indication that they taught it to Luke and that Luke then taught it to a dying Anakin. That’s a big gaffe.)
Thankfully absent is much of the kid friendly humour that Lucas inserted in both The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. To market the first two as children’s films knowing the carnage to come in Revenge of the Sith is disingenuous to say the least. Kids may love Jar Jar, as Lucas once said, but they may have trouble watching characters get decapitated, and Anakin butcher children and get his remaining limbs hacked off as happens in this film.
So where does Revenge of the Sith fit on a scale with the other Star Wars movies? Sith is solidly in third place, behind the original Star Wars and the best of the bunch, The Empire Strikes Back. It makes you want to watch them all in one sitting, and certainly improves the original trilogy, making Vader’s redemption all the more poignant, and all the references to Luke’s father and the attempts to conceal his father’s past all the more ominous and understandable. It does not redeem Menace and Clones, who really suffer by comparison to Sith, for it’s clear that Lucas could have made them both much better movies. But I guess that’s what happens when the writer/director gets preoccupied by merchandising opportunities like the Darth Vader Lawn Sprinkler (available at starwars.com.)
Still, let’s take this movie for what it is: a fine piece of popcorn-munching space-opera. It could have been a train wreck, considering how underwhelming the previous two films were and how Lucas had to dovetail this one between Clones and the original Star Wars. The fact that Lucas had so much of this film’s plot already predetermined probably helped him stay focused on the story and not get distracted with bantha-dropping jokes.
It’s not perfect, but it’s not bad either.
Twice Upon a Time
reviewed by Karl Johanson
Being the founder and president unelect for life of the Victoria
Dark Star Appreciation Society, I greatly enjoyed meeting Brian Narelle (Lt.
Dolittle) at Norwescon 6 (wouldn't you know it I didn't have my rubber
chicken with me). He was at the con with a behind scenes look at the
upcoming animated movie Twice Upon A Time.
Twice Upon A Time, which intersperses live action and animation,
featured paper cutout animation as opposed to drawn or painted animation.
Several thousand small paper eyes, heads, hands, bodies and such were
meticulously placed on the background for each frame. Mr. Narelle managed to
convey how much of an exercise in patience this was with a brief story. He
slowly opened the door to one of the animation rooms (you had to open them
slowly or all of the paper cutout bits flew everywhere) and walked over to
the animator working there. The animator, a rather large Viet Nam vet was
hunched over his light table grabbing eyes and hands and such with his fine
tweezers. "How are things going", Mr. Narelle asked the animator. The
animator slowly looked up at him and said, "this is worse then Nam." Brian
Narelle said he just backed up and slowly closed the door.
Twice Upon A Time didn't reach many movie theaters. For several
years I asked video rental stores if they could get a copy of it in to no
avail. John (co-editor John) finally spotted a copy in his video club and
snagged me one.
The story takes place in the part of the universe where dreams are
created. Pleasant dreams are created in XXX while nightmares are created at
the Murkeworks by synonymous Botch. Botch has plans to have his nightmare
delivering vultures capture all of the pleasant dream delivering figmen,
thus insuring that humans (or Rushers as they're referred to) will only have
nightmares. The protagonists, "Ralph the multipurpose animal" and the mute
"Mumford" enlist the aid of "Ron Rescue Person" and a fairy godmother, to
stop Botch and to free the figmen.
Unfortunately the story seems to fit the never never land of, a
little too "childish" for most adult audience members, and a trifle
"inappropriate" for younger viewers. However fans of animation should keep
their eyes open for this.
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